Why Psychotherapy?

Throughout our lives we are constantly making the effort to express our true, inner subjectivity. At times, we struggle to understand what we think and feel, what we want and don't want, and how to feel free to assert the legitimacy of our point of view. Early negative experiences and old fears of being judged or rejected can make it difficult to express ourselves. This can lead to an empty, unfulfilling life. Not knowing what we want or being unable to act on our desires leaves us unsatisfied, frustrated, and upset with ourselves. These feelings can lead to hopelessness and a diminishing desire to live fully in the world.

Psychotherapy can help bring you more fully into the present moment, into the world. This is when psychotherapy can make a difference. I believe that one of the most successful ways of changing the effects of early experiences is to be heard—and related to—in a respectful, sustained way. The therapy relationship is one that works towards genuine mutual respect and inter-subjectivity. This means that the therapist remains aware of how he is affecting the patient and takes full responsibility for that. Practically, when a problem arises in the working relationship, the therapist will not automatically blame it on the pathology of the patient; the therapist always has some responsibility whenever difficulty arises. Owning this responsibility is healing for both participants. The patient has a different experience in the therapeutic alliance, and when this relationship is sustained long enough, the early experiences fade as the new ones slowly replace them.

The heart of the goal of the psychotherapy experience is to acknowledge—and work towards—the deeply felt need for recognition and the need for competence in constructing, maintaining, and repairing mutual recognition in relationships.